Frankie is a special cat, to be sure, but few know about the fine details that went into the creation of this beast. With the help of this post, you will soon be able to more appreciate his charm through details of his body.

A) Frankie is a Siamese cat. He has the most beautiful fur this side of the Rockies, and he knows it. There are subtle brown textures that didn’t really come through in my illustration, but I tried my best. Do not try to touch this fur unless you are prepared to be bitten. Frankie will let you know when it is alright to touch it. Even then, he may change his mind midway through the touching process.

B) Any brush against Frankie’s whiskers is a direct threat and will be treated as such. If you try to pet his head, avoid the whiskers at all costs. The penalty is death via tiny teeth marks.

C) There is “more to love” with a cat like Frankie. 22 pounds of love to be precise. We started him on a diet, he has since gained a pound. I am pretty convinced that Frankie is a fatty-boom-blatty for life. Despite the massive love handles, Frankie manages to pounce around like a cat half his size. To be sure, it is an anomaly.

D) The belly is strictly off limits. Frankie will roll over and practically beg you to pet his massive belly. This is a trap. Do not, under any circumstances, touch the general belly area; you will have bite marks. We are unsure if Frankie is embarrassed by the shear size of the belly, or if he is just very ticklish. Regardless, the belly is a no go zone unless you are a masochist.

E) The work horse of Frankie’s body. These tiny little stick legs somehow manage to not buckle under the girth of this creature. More study is needed to see how they are able to not only support the weight, but handle his repeated jumps up and down from assorted objects. When Frankie jumps up onto your chest to lay down (and he will), all 22 pounds of his body is centralized onto these four legs for a pretty painful experience. Imagine two bowling balls glued to chop sticks jumping on your stomach, chop sticks first.

One of Frankie hobbies involves his paws. He enjoys jumping up onto tables (coffee or side), staring right into your eyes, and knocking an object off. He usually chooses the largest object on the table for the loudest noise. “I am the boss. Feed Me,” Frankie says. If he wasn’t so cute it would be tempting to just kick him off, but that is the real problem with Frankie. He is just too damned cute.